Sixers Finally Out Of Playoff Hunt, Self-Loathing Can Begin

Though it might have been a case of the Eastern Conference stooping down to accommodate them, the Philadelphia 76ers actually managed to keep themselves in the race for the 8th playoff seed until losing to the Orlando Magic this afternoon. Shavlik Randolph can now stop pretending to rehab his ankle and concentrate on deflecting people wishing to bring their gayness on him.

Can you imagine the Sixers sneaking into the playoffs? Would people even have noticed?

There's a surprising amount of good news in all of this. The Sixers have been playing .500 ball since the Allen Iverson trade (and 24-20 since they pulled a K-Fed on Chris Webber), quite miraculous for a team that had lost 12 in a row at one point in the season. They'd be a "second-half" playoff team in the East, no question.

But that's not all--the Nuggets included TWO first round picks in this upcoming draft (projected to be the deepest draft since 2003--pretty much because they're forcing kids to take one year of college now) with Joe Smith and Andre Miller. That's like passing up three European vacations on the Showcase Showdown for a sweet motorcycle, an ugly dinette set, and a huge jukebox that you don't even have room for in your garage. Thanks, Denver!

Some current projections have Philly taking a lot of "name" college players. I'm high on Acie Law, but I'd also like to see them get a legitimate center.

This is but another manifestation of addition by subtraction. More importantly, it's more evidence to support my dad's "always trade your most talented, athletic player" theory--if he's popular but hasn't won a championship within a few years, he must go. This was right on the money for Bobby Abreu, who had become my father's favorite whipping boy the past few seasons.

He has similarly railed on Iverson ever since the Finals loss in 2001. He always contended that A.I. was only around for the purpose of A.I.S.--Asses In Seats. I would also point to the fact that the "Controversy" section of Iverson's Wikipedia page is not only footnoted but organized chronologically over several years.

Now I'm thinking he might really be on to something. Brian Dawkins and Simon Gagne had better call their agents.