Moyer's Fallen And He Can't Get Up

In a matchup of promising young arms today, the New York Mets' young phenom Tom Glavine defeated Philadelphia Phillies whiz kid Jamie Moyer.

This is the sort of matchup we should be enjoying for weeks to come, until their pensions kick in and they finally decide to enjoy themselves in that bizarro universe where a man can legitimately "retire" from his profession in his late 30s. I imagine it is a heavenly place, where Julio Franco organizes shuffleboard tournaments, Rickey Henderson teaches aquarobics, and David Wells is the spokesman for Liberty Medical Supply.

Seriously...a combined 85 years between the two starters. That would be remarkable if it weren't for the fact that Gavin Floyd was supposed to be in Moyer's position by now.

Next up on the schedule: the Houston Astros (who always seem to pop up early in the year for the Phils). The Phillies need to right the ship--fast. They'll have a good shot against the punchless 'Stros. Adam Everett is leading the offense in home runs, for Chrissakes. (That would be funnier to me if Lance Berkman wasn't my fantasy first baseman.)

Bright Spots: Whatever Jimmy Rollins is eating. He did a good job of responding to all the heckling and if the Phillies can't win enough to sustain a real rivalry with the Mets, then I have faith that J-Roll can take on the entire city of New York.

Downers: Ryan Howard, the Greatest American Hero:
Believe it or not, I'm swinging at air,
Hard to think I was MVP...
Swinging away, just a bat and a prayer,
Who could it be? Believe it or not, it's MVP!