Old Timers' Day in the Phillies Bullpen

Yesterday's Phillies-Marlins game was an excellent case study in exactly what is wrong with the Phillies bullpen. In their defense, Joseph Durbin Durbin couldn't even get an out against the Teal Bastards while spotting them seven runs, forcing the 'pen to cover a full eight innings. Four different relievers were used, but the difference between each pitcher was like night and day.

Clay Condrey and the returning Francisco Rosario pitching a combined 5 scoreless innings, but Jose Mesa turned the prospect of a tasty reliever ice cream sandwich into a rancid Reuben by giving up two runs in 2 IP. Not to be outdone, Antonio Alfonseca coughed up three more runs in his one inning of work, including a home run to budding Phillie Killer Cody Ross.

I'll reiterate my point by grading each reliever's performance with a reminder of how old each player is (supposedly)...

Condrey (32): Good
Mesa (41): Bad
Rosario (26): Surprisingly good
Alfonseca ("35"): Terrible

This is the sort of up-and-down incompetence you get from the typical Adam Eaton start, and it threatens to take the wind out of the recently high-flying Phils' sails. With all of the attention garnered by the Phillies' young offensive stars, it's easy to forget that there are some older dudes on this squad.

Who would have thought that aged pitchers who have bounced around to so many teams would be breaking down near the end of the season? Sure, you don't want a bunch of guys just learning the hopes to be thrown in the heat of a pennant race, but it's time to reconsider the heavy emphasis a lot of baseball people place on "veteran experience."

Rocky Now Officially Better Than Indiana Jones

The American Film Institute updated their ten-year-old list of the 100 "greatest" American films of all time this past Wednesday night. While this apparently wasn't enough time to recognize some excellent movies of a recent vintage (really, no Brokeback? No Fight Club? No Spider-Man?), several films benefited from a re-evaluation.

Rocky jumped up an astonishing 21 slots to #57, just one spot behind Jaws. It's hard to invest a lot of credibility in a list that ranks Tootsie ahead of A Clockwork Orange, but this is quite an upset for the Italian Stallion. Stallone's feel-good masterpiece is often cited as one of the "worst" Oscar winners for Best Picture, the film's critical memory stuck in a perpetual 1976 of long gas lines, political malaise, and bicentennial ephemera.

But its popular memory? That's a completely different story. Perseverance never goes out of style. They can make an uber-depressing movie about Tom Hanks getting fired and dying because he has AIDS, call the damn thing Philadelphia, and they still can't remove the image of Rocky flattening Apollo Creed with a big left hook from people's minds. The city and the fictional fighter are inextricably linked forever. And with a list like this, that's all that matters. Rocky still goes the distance today.

(Bonus: The Sixth Sense appears at #89, complete with a wistful M. Night Shyamalan soundbite, and The Philadelphia Story clocks in at #44. Ask your grandpa about that one.)

Moyer's Fallen And He Can't Get Up

In a matchup of promising young arms today, the New York Mets' young phenom Tom Glavine defeated Philadelphia Phillies whiz kid Jamie Moyer.

This is the sort of matchup we should be enjoying for weeks to come, until their pensions kick in and they finally decide to enjoy themselves in that bizarro universe where a man can legitimately "retire" from his profession in his late 30s. I imagine it is a heavenly place, where Julio Franco organizes shuffleboard tournaments, Rickey Henderson teaches aquarobics, and David Wells is the spokesman for Liberty Medical Supply.

Seriously...a combined 85 years between the two starters. That would be remarkable if it weren't for the fact that Gavin Floyd was supposed to be in Moyer's position by now.

Next up on the schedule: the Houston Astros (who always seem to pop up early in the year for the Phils). The Phillies need to right the ship--fast. They'll have a good shot against the punchless 'Stros. Adam Everett is leading the offense in home runs, for Chrissakes. (That would be funnier to me if Lance Berkman wasn't my fantasy first baseman.)

Bright Spots: Whatever Jimmy Rollins is eating. He did a good job of responding to all the heckling and if the Phillies can't win enough to sustain a real rivalry with the Mets, then I have faith that J-Roll can take on the entire city of New York.

Downers: Ryan Howard, the Greatest American Hero:
Believe it or not, I'm swinging at air,
Hard to think I was MVP...
Swinging away, just a bat and a prayer,
Who could it be? Believe it or not, it's MVP!