It's Always Gloomy In Philadelphia

The faces tell the story of the Phils' NLDS collapse against the Rockies, but the numbers don't do a bad job, either:

26 strikeouts in three games. A .172 team batting average. A 5.54 team ERA. 7 runs allowed by the bullpen (plus the 3 charged to Kyle Kendrick that are partially Kyle Lohse's fault). The Phils' weaknesses were exposed--in embarrassing fashion--in front of a national audience. The only consolation is that now the entire organization knows what it has to fix (let's begin the shortlist with the 'pen and the offense's ineffectiveness against lefty pitching. I mean, Mark Redman? Come on!).

Watching this series was like watching Peter O'Toole lose an Academy Award to Orlando Bloom. For an old franchise with a sprawling hard-luck history punctuated by occasional excellence, it's upsetting to watch the young, super-hyped media darlings clinch a seemingly undeserving series win. But I give credit to the Rockies. In a year where four Divisional Series sweeps are a distinct possibility, the Rox are the only team to do it without playing the first two games at their home park (though, arguably, the conditions at CBP do a good job of simulating those at Coors). I certainly find them more legitimate than the D-Backs, whose smoke-and-mirrors bullpen and lack of offensive consistency will have to catch up with them in a seven-game series.

The second-inning stadium blackout in Game 3 was an apt metaphor of the way the Phillies simply wilted under the bright lights and high pressure of the playoffs. It's hard to believe how quickly the giddy euphoria of one week can turn into abject failure and despondency. Lest we forget, in October, the darkness starts falling faster.

There will be plenty to occupy Phillies fans in the coming months--the uncertain futures of Uncle Charlie and Aaron Rowand, the looming contract of Ryan Howard, the imminent buyout of Rod Barajas, etc. The front office has a lot of work to do this winter to ensure that this nucleus that is reaching its peak can build upon this spectacular run to the division title and deliver even more.

The Baker Bowl hates to see the season end this way. We hate to see some of these guys leave the Phillies like this (though we might express some restrained joy for the departure of others). And most of all, we're weary from the bipolar highs and lows that were the 2007 Philadelphia Phillies.

But come next spring, hopes will rise again. The grass will be freshly clipped and the beer freshly tapped for the thousands of red-shirted maniacs ready to see our guys give it another try. We'll be there with them--like always.

Loathesome Losers: The Anatomy of a Phillies Fan

I have decided to stop shouting into the wind long enough to acknowledge the Phillies "official" 10,000th loss tonight, a 10-2 decision to the St. Louis Cardinals. The Phils failed to plate any runs before the bottom of the ninth after scoring a combined 23 runs in the past two games, and Brian Sanches surrendered four home runs (including one to Lil' Adam Kennedy) all by himself. That sounds about right.

A final word on the "milestone"--a lot of people are chalking the losses up to "longevity," perhaps trying to deflect attention from the fact that they have chosen to write about/cover/root for a franchise that, by all accounts, is a born loser. Yes, the Phillies are old, but the next closest squad (the Braves) is more than 300 losses away from 10,000. They have finished under .500 seventy-five times, accounting for 59 percent of their total 127 major-league seasons. They have won a single World Series, the fewest among any team that is at least 100 years old. They have had exactly one window of consistently competent ownership in their entire history, but their few glories have occurred in relatively recent memory and thus their struggles are generally overlooked.

The fact is that the Philadelphia Phillies are far and away the worst franchise, pound for pound, in professional baseball. The failure to acknowledge this awful truth, I believe, is one of the big reasons that Philly fans are stereotyped as boorish louts rather than "lovable losers" (like Cubs fans) or priggish-yet-sympathetic martyrs (like Red Sox fans pre-2004). We get so defensive about this losing legacy--one that we consciously chose to adopt as our own--that we don't deserve much sympathy. We're like the burnout who eats a dozen Big Macs a day and then blames McDonald's for making him fat.

So to all the Phaithful who are getting their underpants in a bunch over the celebration of 10,000 losses (notably the 700 Level), I have one question: When are you going to move to St. Louis? Because if you want to plaster a lobotomized grin on your face whether your team is on top of the world or at the bottom of Tony LaRussa's gin and tonic, playing your fiddle while Busch Stadium burns, then that's the place to be.

Me, I will welcome a little public embarrassment--the type that should rankle an invisible ownership, if it has any decency left, into paying some more attention to the W/L columns than to the bottom line. I will recognize that cheering for a loss--one highly unique, historic loss--isn't any lower than the lowest moments that Phillies fans have created. I will continue to risk my mental and cardiovascular health rooting for the guys in red pinstripes to win, as I have every day of my doomed fanhood.

But right now I will most definitely celebrate 10,000.