Citizens Bank Park has been given the "coveted title" of Most Vegetarian-Friendly Park in Major League Baseball by none other than the folks at PETA, who have not only cornered the market on misguided lobbying but also corny baseball metaphors. Indeed, ballpark food choices full of flavor, "cruelty-free," and low in cholesterol are truly a "triple play."
I'm really angry at PETA for continuing to presume it is a relevant and respected organization amongst the majority of sports fans. I am more agitated by the fact that CBP tops the list ahead of parks in cities where the fanbase is the complete anti-Philly--places like San Francisco and (ugh) Seattle. What hath Aramark wrought?
To wit, I'm filing a formal protest against this decision because the study is completely flawed. The PETA people clearly just looked at ballpark menus online instead of actually going to the parks, in which case they would have found that--except for the food--Philadelphia is probably one of the least vegetarian-friendly environments in the majors.
As Phillies fans, we have a collective hatred for anything hip or sanctimonious, we fear the exotic since "colorfulness" has caused us to crash and burn far too many times. I'd also be willing to bet that the veggie options are more expensive than the standard fare, anathema to the vast Phillies lumpenproletariat. Not to mention that you'd be laughed out of the stadium for ordering a "Philly mock-steak sandwich."
It's time PETA focused on the real animal-cruelty issues in MLB, namely the exploitation and enclosure of free-range managers.
Set Charlie free!
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