Phillies Notes: Scoring Is Not A Problem

Hey there, beautiful. Do you come here often? Well, maybe you wouldn't mind helping me look for my Purple Heart. I seem to have misplaced it somewhere, along with all my competent relief pitchers.

You cannot possibly be shutting me out right now. That's impossible. It hasn't happened to me even once. I've conquered them all--Ted Lilly, Kyle Lohse, even Matt Morris. Now, if you want to see somebody strike out, go talk to Florida. That dude is a loser.

Yep, scoring is not a problem for me. I'm outscoring most of my peers, yet somehow I still have a losing record. Story of my life. I think I'm winning people over but I just can't close the deal. Plus I just lost my best wingman, Ryan Howard, for at least the next couple weeks. Truth be told, he hasn't been himself lately.

This is kinda bad news since Milwaukee is coming to visit soon, and he's quite a player himself. And he's so annoyingly good at stopping other dudes from scoring; it's like he's his own mother hen. I'll try my best to keep scoring. Though I must say, it seems to lack the fulfillment I am looking for. But no more excuses for now. It's time to play like a champion.

Or at least look like one on paper.