Ken Caminiti Lives!

I felt the need to post this only because of my hetero man-crush on Todd Helton, who now appears to be rocking the "Goatee of Strength" sported mainly by the closers and power hitters on the late 1990s:


For some reason, it makes his face look fatter. Todd, take it from me. Growing facial hair after a lifetime of clean-shavenness has only ever worked for two people: Abraham Lincoln or the Santa-in-training in Ernest Saves Christmas, who looked like the target of an NBC Dateline sting without the beard.

Now shave it before somebody mistakes you for Robb Nen.