Group Therapy: Surviving the Sixers Draft

Billy King did an excellent job of doing what other teams' GMs told him to do at last night's NBA Draft.

Three of four Philly picks were flipped to other teams shortly after they were selected, making the Sixers one of the busiest draft-night franchises. But considering the sheer volume of trades made annually, the NBA Draft hits its "crapshoot phase" somewhere between picks 20 and 25. Methinks it could be a lot of sound and fury when the foreigners start going like ham sandwiches at a hobo convention.

The Philadelphia 76ers 2007 draft, more or less as I saw it:

Pick #12: The only guy the Sixers picked and kept was Georgia Tech product Thaddeus Young, kinda surprising with Julian Wright and Al Thornton still available (and, sadly, one pick too late for Acie Law). I liked this decision the more I thought about it since Thornton went to an institution that awarded a degree to this individual and both Thornton and Wright have been hyped up the wazoo. Never underestimate a smart(er) person with something to prove. Plus he reminds me of the last famous Thaddeus in Pennsylvania; no matter what Young's political affiliation is, a Radical Republican reference must be worked into his nickname.

Pick #21: Daequan Cook was kind of a puzzling selection here, even if you somehow believe ESPN's graphic that has Iguodala at shooting guard and Korver at forward in Philly's "starting lineup." Cook was then humorously traded for the guy picked one spot ahead of him by Miami, Jason Smith. And I wondered why the Heat were a mess. Smith, meanwhile, has the potential to develop into a much-needed presence on the boards, having recorded double-digit rebounds in the last eight consecutive games of last season (and in 18 games overall).

Pick #30: Right before this pick was made, Ric Bucher disclosed the full terms of the Cook-Smith deal--Miami not only gets Cook, but also cash and a 2009 second-round pick as well. I can see throwing in a few bucks to sweeten the deal, but who the hell also throws in a pick to get a guy who went all of one spot ahead of your own. I half-expected Billy King to hold up a newspaper describing the deal today and proclaim "Peace in our time."

Literally ten seconds after this happens, the Sixers pick Petteri Koponen, a 19-year-old who led his team to the Finnish League championship last year. Writing that last clause still makes me cringe. Experiencing it in real-time was far worse, a viciously delivered one-two punch. I felt like I just got out of the shower with nothing to dry myself but a hand towel, then discover that it's really John Candy's XXL underpants, a la Steve Martin in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

Pick #38: As if there were some draft gods punishing the Sixers for their ignominious flop at the first round's finish line, Nick Fazekas and Glen "Big Baby" Davis go off the board at 34 and 35. Philly picks the vowel-averse Kyrylo Fesenko until shipping him to Utah for the 55th pick, Providence's Herbert Hill. When I think about it, Utah could have been behind both of those selections. Both fit the Jazz's draft pattern: the white foreigner or the inoffensively-named guy from a non-marquee school (Dee Brown notwithstanding). The Sixers also get mysterious "additional considerations" in this trade. I speculate that this could be anything from Mormon Tabernacle Choir Tickets to Andrei Kirilenko.

Mercifully, there is another trade announcement between #30 and #38: Koponen to Portland for cash money and 2007 SEC Player of the Year Derrick Byars. Excuse me while I put on this mask, Paul Allen.

A really, really weird draft for the Sixers when all things are considered. The question now is what to do with all of these prospects. None of the picks were traded for veteran help as I had speculated, and there's no way that Philly's opening night roster includes four rookies. There's still time to deal, though, and I'm still nowhere near as depressed as Simmons.

But that, I fear, isn't much of a feat these days.